Entertainment

By Tara Lipinsky, wcbstv.com
NEW YORK (CBS) ― Hey, it's that time of the week again, when the gossip mags have hit the racks and our daily commute is made so much sweeter.

Quote of the week:"Of course I've fallen for bad boys. All girls go for a bad boy at some point in their lives." Drew Barrymore.

And we are so glad you do!

With Lindsay in rehab and Paris still behind bars, the Hollywood club scene has been such a bore! But, just in time: She's baaaack! Britney Spears is on the party scene and she's putting an old spin on "out" and about.

Oops! She did it again, and again, and again. We've seen so much of Britney's skin this past week, its hard to believe it when In Touch claims "Finally, Britney Hires A Stylist." She reportedly dropped nearly $33,000 to look "more classy," like Katie Holmes.

Please, who is this "stylist?" The three blind mice would do a better job at picking out her clothes. And no matter who you pay to get her dressed, you can't count on her staying that way.

She was snapped driving around in a red bra and cowboy hat, with her white dress wrapped around her waist. She then basically flashed the paparazzi.

Now that's classy. You can take the girl out of the bowels of Louisiana, ya'll. But:

Britney's Got Class.

Remember the good ol' days when we could blame Britney's trashy behavior on Kevin Federline. Ah, we were so young, and so naive. We all really wanted to believe she walked into gas station bathrooms barefoot because of her love of a dancer. Ah, those were much more simple times.

Meanwhile, Us Weekly reports "Britney Spears Drinking Again." Did she ever stop?

"The singer" who has repeatedly denied having a problem with alcohol "was seen kicking back several rounds of cocktails on June 15. Spears, 25, hit West Hollywood hot spot Lola's and hung out with four pals at a private table on the bar's back patio. She had two Jack [Daniels] and Cokes and an orange-flavored martini," Lola's manager, Sylvie Haines, tells the mag. "Her whole visit was pretty low-key and she didn't seem drunk."

Didn't seem drunk? If she just started tipping them back again just a few days ago, not only would she be drunk after downing that much alcohol, she'd be puking in the bathroom. Make no mistake. She's a professional.

Speaking of professional partiers, thank God, someone who was in Promises rehab center with Lindsay can't keep their pie hole shut. A source tells Star she attributes her problems to "the men in her life who have wronged her." She also "copped to having acute social anxiety. ... She admitted that she needs alcohol to go out and be social." No kidding, tell me something I don't know!

Well, apparently she's making quite a stink! The source also claims "she doesn't shower after workouts, and she kind of smells." Ewww!

And we all saw the video of David Hasselhoff in a drunken stupor eating a hamburger off the floor. Well, an L.A. judge just awarded HIM sole legal custody of his two teenaged daughters. Wow! I'd love to see the video of what his ex-wife did.

The Hoff isn't slowing down, either. According to Ok! just hours after the ruling he downed champagne with a hot brunette at hotspot Les Duex, to celebrate. Well, I guess we didn't ALL see the video. The hot brunette was clearly hiding in a cave with Osama bin Laden when the media played the drunken chow down, over and over and over. Either that, or she's German.

Kelly Clarkson tells Cosmo Girl! "I was bulimic." Oh Kelly, that was so Katherine McPhee, American Idol runner up 2006.

The original Buffy The Vampire Slayer Kristy Swanson was arrested for allegedly socking her boyfriend's ex-wife. The same woman who was married to said boyfriend when Swanson started sleeping with him. This story would be sooo interesting if we even remotely cared (or knew) Kristy Swanson.

John Cusack calls Hilary Duff "classy" and "wholesome" during an interview with Us Weekly. Well, wholesome, maybe. Oh wait, didn't she date Joel Madden for a couple of years?

Well, probably not wholesome then either.

Okay, lets get some perspective here, people. Katie Holmes got a haircut this week. She didn't find a cure for cancer and she didn't accomplish world peace. She didn't even solve the Rubik's Cube, for crying out loud! She went to a freakin' salon and cut off her hair! Stop treating her like she's some sort of genius. It's not even a unique style, she just copied her new BFF Victoria Beckham. And I bet Posh Spice is really peeved, because Katie looks sooo much cuter in it than she does.

Us Weekly says "Shar Jackson Not Pregnant!" Whew! Our prayers were answered.

Well, half of them anyway. It's still not clear If Nicole is screwing with the gossip gods or if she really is caring Joel Madden's spawn. But what is clear is she's facing jail time, knocked up or not, after her December arrest for driving the wrong way high on pot and vicodin.

Now, with the kooky judges out in L.A. it could go either way. Either she gets David Hasselhoff's judge and is sentenced to a day of community service at the local dog pound. Woof! Or she gets Paris' judge and she just may be sentenced to the electric chair.

Well, babies and baby bumps are all the rage in Hollywood. Julia and Kerri both squeezed out baby boys this week, and In Touch has a four page spread called "The Biggest Baby Bumps Ever" Yes, of course Salma Hayek's picture is in there. The mag also claims "she's giving in to her cravings." Yeah, no kidding isn't that obvious?

Despite Justin Timberlake's "relationship" with hottie Jessica Biel, he's traveling with ex Cameron to push their film Shrek The Third. I don't know which is more difficult to believe in, Us Magazine's article on the exes, that Diaz is over Timberlake for good, or that she was eating ice cream cones in Rome.

Speaking of Cameron and Justin, In Touch wants to know, "Would you be jealous if your guy was still close to his ex?" Um, no. But if I were Jessica, I'd be pretty upset that my boyfriend told The Mirror I was just a "very dear friend" who "texts him all the time." And "when asked who the love of his life is, he replied, 'I haven't met her yet' Ouch!" If I were Jessica I would hop on the next plane and join him for his tour whether he liked it or not. Hmph!

Oh wait, that's just what she did.

FYI, darling, it appears the only one JT loves his himself.

Heidi and Spencer please stop calling to tip off the tabloids when you are going to be strutting around in your bathing suits. And tabloids, don't you have anything better to do? Aren't there celebs in rehab, or out getting drunk somewhere that you can follow around? Please stop taking their calls!

According to In Touch, now that Richie Sambora is out of rehab he wants Heather Locklear back. Well, of course he does! I don't care how old she is Heather Locklear is smoking hot! But kid or no kid, after Richie did the deed with her former BFF, Denise Richards, Heather will not give him the time of day. Plus, she's now seeing (read: having sex with) the equally hot Jack Wagner, her Melrose Place co-star.

Ah, justice. Sweet, sweet, justice.

Now Richie probably could go back to Richards, who's pretty hot herself, but you just know that bitch is absolutely insane.

Maybe they can all just meet up at Shooters and work things out.

This week's Brangelina headlines include:"Angelina: I want 14 Kids!," "Angelina 98 Pounds!," "Angelina Says Let's Get Married!," "Brad & Ange: More Kids On The Way!"

Enough already, we know Angelina lost weight and she wants 84,000 children. We get it she's skinny and crazy.

But, now Life & Style quotes an insider as saying "Angie's back on her marriage kick. She wants this more than anything."

I bet Brad wishes she'd get back on her I-want-to-get-naked-and-stay-in-bed-all-the-time kick.

In Touch's article called "Stars At Home With The Kids" should have been called "D-List Stars At Home With The Kids."

Star is reporting that supposedly rehabbed Colin Farrell is in love with an Irish college student he met in a bar (where else?) near Dublin. The problem? The student's ex then committed suicide.

Boy, she sure knows how to pick 'em.

Some of this week's other articles I didn't read because I didn't care about..
In Touch: "Maureen McCormick: I Lost 34 Pounds!"
Us Weekly: "Reese & Jake: Is This The End?"
OK! Weekly: "Larry Celebrates Father's Day"

I can't wait to see the trash they throw out there next week.

June 12: Gossip Weekly Rag Mag Wrap-Up

June 6: Gossip Weekly Rag Mag Wrap-Up

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