Entertainment

NEW YORK (CBS) ― Hey, it's that time of the week again, when the gossip mags hit the racks and our daily commute is made so much sweeter.

It's clear Lindsay Lohan's partying is old news, because Angie, Brad and their brood are once again ruling the tabs. US Weekly goes "Inside Shiloh's World", In Touch calls Angelina "Scary Skinny", the duo is "Raising Their Kids Apart!" according to Life & Style and Brad "Speaks His Mind" to OK! Which leaves the question, what is there about their lives we don't know?

Don't worry Jen wants to answer that. This week's Star Exclusive claims Aniston is getting ready to pen a tell-all tome about Brad and their break-up. Plus, she'll reportedly dish on the behind the scenes antics of Friends. Mmmm.... I don't know about you, but I've moved on. I'm much more interested in Angie being "Scary Skinny."

Speaking of which, all the rags are whispering about her painfully thin look. But thankfully, according to In Touch, Brad is coming to the rescue. An insider tells the mag "He's giving her emotional and spiritual support. He's a 24-7 hands on dad." Okay, Brad, but wouldn't feeding her every once in a while, be a better option? I recommend a cheeseburger. I feel very strongly about the cheeseburger, and I can assure you it will be a recurrent theme in this column.

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Okay, let's chat real quickly about Lindsay. And in case you were in the same state she was in this past weekend, let me summarize:
Saturday morning: car crash, hospital visit and DUI.
Monday morning, partying, puking and passed out.
Tuesday, Promises. Rehab Clinic.
The photographs: Priceless
Latest Lindsay Lohan Pics

Speaking of those pics, I know I'm shallow, but the question that's really irking me is this. Why would the self-proclaimed fashionista go out in that crappy outfit? I mean its really a shame. My advice to you? If you are ever going to be photographed drunk and slack-jawed in a friend's car, wear better clothes. Oh, Come on, you know you were all thinking the same thing.

And all I'm going to say about Mischa Barton is she's really lucky Lindsay had such a rough weekend.

In Touch says New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady "prepares to be a dad." Yes and he does this by canoodling all over the country with supermodel Gisele Bundchen, while the mother of his child, Bridget Moynahan is left to fend for herself. Wait, I've heard this story before, can you say Billy Crudup?

Are we ever going to get sick of seeing Matthew McConaughey running around without his shirt on?… I didn't think so. However, I do not want under any circumstances to ever again see Terri Hatcher's boyfriend kissing her neck. And please, no more shots of 60 year old James Woods frolicking in the surf with his hot 20 year old girlfriend. The visuals are just way too disturbing. ((check out US Weekly pg 30 if you don't believe me))

By the way, is everyone really drinking wine coolers again? And if so, why?

Okay, I'm just going to have my say about "The Hills" (insert air quotes here) STARS Heidi and Spencer. First of all, does anyone else think the couple must have the paparazzi on speed dial? What exactly does Spencer do for a living beside hang out with Brody Jenner? For that matter, what does Brody do for a living? And most importantly why does everyone except for Heidi know what a creep this guy is? Could someone please get the girl a copy of season two on DVD, it must be in stores already. Or better yet, if she hits this link she can watch every sluglike move he makes . The Hills: Season Two

Along the same vein, lets have a lesson on Mario Lopez. News flash, he likes the ladies and its tough for him to stay monogamous. You are not going to change him! No matter how hot you think you are, you're not going to change him.

Life and Style give us a little bit of trivia on "The Material Girl" claiming;'In high school Madonna was a cheerleader, a straight A student, and founded the drama club. Oh yeah, and they forgot, to mention most popular with the football team, and most likely to catch VD.

I get that Rihanna wanted to shed her child-like good girl image, since she's now the whopping age of 19, but do you think the "crack-whore" look was the way to go? (See Star pg. 12)

A few weeks ago Life & Style mag claimed "Kirsten and Johnny: Getting Serious." quoting an insider as saying "Kirsten says Johnny gets her better than any man she's ever been with!" Uh… do you mean he doesn't care that you get fall down drunk in public on a regular basis, or that he's clearly just as scared of the dentist as you are?

Now "Star" is insinuating Dunst will put her career on hold after shooting on her new comedy "How to Lose Friends & Alienate People" ends. Hee Hee. I can't help giggling that title is too good, it just cracks me up.

I was happy to finally see a picture of Ben Affleck with his daughter Violet in the glossies its usually only Jen you see lugging that kid around

In Touch asks the burning question, "Why is Nicole so thin again?" Psst! In Touch –let me say this slowly… bee-cause shhee does not eat. Wow! I answered that and I'm not even a Rhodes Scholar.

But what was really juicy about their article is the "shocking" e-mail Richie sent to her friends about an upcoming party that allegedly said no girls over 100 pounds would be allowed in. Well let's see, that's a fun list. Angelina, (see above), one of the Olsen twins, I can't remember which one, Kate Bosworth, oh no, she may be tipping the scales at 101. Could be Kate Hudson, it just depends on which magazine you ask, Victoria Beckham, Donnatella Versace's daughter, Allegra, Keira Knightly… oh you get the picture.

We have to touch on the reality shows, even though they were a big bore this year. OK! Actually had behind the scenes pics from "American Idol", the only caveat, they apparently had to do a six page spread on Paula Abdul.

Being a reality telly fan, this year's results were a little anti-climatic - Jordin won "Idol" and Apolo is the "Dancing with the Stars" champion. But I want to know what REALLY happened to Paul's face, ((not part of the aforementioned mag spread)) and I am I the only one that didn't realize Samantha Harris was pregnant? That bitch!

This week's other articles I can't tell you a darn thing about, because I didn't care enough about the people involved.

In Touch< - "At Home with Maureen McCormick"
US Weekly- "Brittany Murphy Married to a Con Man?"
OK! Weekly - "Star's Big Heart"
Anything about Rosie's Feud with Elisabeth

I can't wait to see the trash they throw out there next week. Tara.

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