Entertainment

By Tara Lipinsky, wcbstv.com
NEW YORK (CBS) ― Hey, it's that time of the week again, when the gossip mags have hit the racks and our daily commute is made so much sweeter.

Star says "Madonna Turns On Britney!" Congrats on finally joining the club Madge!

All the glossies got creative with their covers, but the meat of the rags are all the same. "Is Britney Cracking Up Again?" "Britney & Mom: It's War!" "Britney Tells her Mom Stay Away From My Babies." "Britney's Life Is Out of Control."

That's right, you just can't ignore the fact that Britney is still out of control.

Apparently the original pop tart served her momma Lynne papers ordering her to stay away from Sean Preston and Jayden James. Of course, she dragged the paparazzi along with her to catch every trashy moment.

Wow, I bet Lynn really regrets telling Us Magazine a few weeks ago that Britney is "the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving of all my children."

The other running theme is confirmation that Nicole Richie is actually pregnant.

Think of the child people.

But, the good news is that she and her boyfriend of, like, six whole months you guys, Joel Madden, are getting married. So, at least the child won't be a bastard.

A "friend" tells In Touch Richie thinks marriage is the right thing to do, saying, "She is actually very old-fashioned about certain things."

Um, did the meaning of the phrase "old-fashioned" change recently without anyone telling me?

If not, then the term definitely does NOT apply to Nicole. I'm no Mensa member, but I'm pretty certain that one who is old fashioned would wait until after the wedding to get pregnant. Oh, and probably wouldn't be on drugs and driving the wrong way on the freeway.

Ya know, what probably happened? One of the members her motley crew just thinks Nicole's conservative because unlike the rest of the sluts they hang around with, she actually knows who the father of her child is.

The insider also tells In Touch "Nicole and Joel had been fighting a lot, and the pregnancy brought them back together."

Yep, the baby won't be illegitimate; he or she will just be the crazy, spoiled rich kid of divorced parents.

Speaking of pregnant gals, I can't believe Naomi Watts isn't scheduled to pop until August! And doesn't that woman ever stay home? Take a load off!

Oh, and there is a picture out there of Angelina Jolie lifting her shirt and touching her stomach, so, of course, that means she's pregnant.

It's what I like to call "gossip insemination."

Speaking of Angie, I bet she's going to be really upset when she reads Starand finds out Brad is planning a secret meeting with Jen to introduce her to Shiloh.

Meanwhile, Life & Style has an article called "Jen Aniston: Torn Between Two Men!" One of them is model-former party boy Paul Sculfor, and the other is actor Billy Crudup.

Yikes! These are her best options? A former drug addict and a notorious cheater? The article quotes an insider as saying, "Jen has a strong chance of going the distance with someone like Billy." Oh yeah, ever heard of Mary Louise-Parker?

Rihanna actually looked really good at the BET Awards!

In Star's"Hollywood Goes Green" article, the rich and famous give away their earth friendly tips.

Here's the gist. Basically, they all own hybrids to make themselves feel better. But, meanwhile, they are driven around in town cars, and travel by private plane.

Of course, Oprah brings her own nylon bag to the grocery store. But, come on, who has ever seen Oprah at the grocery store? If anyone had, her pic would have already been in Us Magazine's "Stars They're Just Like Us."

Remember when I asked you last week if Nicole Kidman ever saw her kids? Well, apparently she doesn't. According to Star, her husband Keith Urbane didn't even think to invite them to their own mother's surprise 40th birthday party in Australia. So when news of the bash leaked, she cancelled it.

Well, now Nicole, don't you think it's your responsibility to make sure your kids aren't half-way around the world on your birthday to begin with?

The magazine also gave their marriage the kiss of death by quoting an insider as saying, "Nicole is determined to make it work."

Would anyone else except for Gwen Stefani walk around wearing a t-shirt with her husband's picture on it? Would anyone want to? And this woman has her own clothing line?

Just because Julia Roberts has decided to dress like a ragamuffin is no excuse for her dressing her children that way. They all look like their clothes were bought at the Salvation Army. And I'm not really certain which one is Phinnaeus and which one is Hazel anyway.

Speaking of dressing your kids, there are pictures of Brad and Angie's kids wearing each other's hand-me-downs! Don't they have a charity they can donate the used clothing to?

According to Star "lonely" Denise Richards hired a $50,000 matchmaker. Maybe if she would just change her personality, she could save herself 50 Gs.

Wow! No matter how much plastic surgery she's gotten, Tara Reid still looks like she's been put away wet one too many times.

Please tell me Kate Hudson is not having an affair with supermarket billionaire Ron Burkle. The visuals I get on that are just too disturbing! I mean it's not as if she's a poor, pretty girl, who needs his money to make it in the world. She's a talented actress. With rich parents.

What did Momma tell you last week:

"I think Nick Lachey's gal pal Vanessa Minnillo is finally figuring out how this fame thing works. For the second time this month she's caught (wink, wink) in racy photos.

Life & Style has a spread of the couple romping around naked at their hotel in Mexico. And the mag asked the burning question "Will this hurt her career?"

Hell, no Life & Style! This is how careers are made these days. Her peeps probably rented the room based on the capability of your cameraman getting the perfect angle. She's the one who probably called to tip you off on their whereabouts right from her own cell phone.

Surprise, Surprise, this week, the randy couple grace the cover of Ok!, with a vomit-inducing six-page photo spread inside, where they address the "scandalous" Mexican vacation.

Which leads me to the quote of the week: "I felt personally violated. As a woman, my body is a temple, it's mine. So it was embarrassing. But we did nothing wrong."

That's right, Vanessa, it looks like you made a good move.

Wow, this week's article is Paris- and Lindsay-free.

Some of this week's other articles I didn't read because I didn't care about..
Life & StyleTom & Katie: Two More Babies!
StarTony & Eva's Pre-wedding Honeymoon
Life & StyleEva's $15,000 Wedding Makeover!
StarKatherine Heigl: The Heartbreak Behind Her Wedding Joy

I can't wait to see the trash they throw out there next week.

June 28: Gossip Weekly Rag Mag Wrap-Up

June 19: Gossip Weekly Rag Mag Wrap-Up

June 12: Gossip Weekly Rag Mag Wrap-Up

May 30: Gossip Weekly Rag Mag Wrap-Up

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