Nov 23, 2009 7:43 pm US/Eastern
Holiday Dinners Often Serve Up Family Disputes
Stress Management Adviser Offers Tips Keep Your Thanksgiving Meal Calm, Collected
NEW YORK (CBS) ―
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Tis the season that's full of joy, yet also one that can be full of stress, especially when it comes to a house full of loved – or not-so-loved – ones. (File)
AP
Thousands of families could use a remedy for family frustration when it comes to the holidays. For many, a house full of relatives can be a recipe for a holiday horror.
Tis the season that's full of joy, yet also one that can be full of stress, especially when it comes to a house full of loved – or not-so-loved – ones. It didn't take CBS 2 long to find some folks who have experienced some tense times during holiday dinners.
"Of course, you have all the siblings there, the family there, the in-laws there," said Rye Brook resident Francine Rifkin.
"Somebody is always late and messes things up and makes people mad. We always have a blow-up," said Greenville, S.C. resident Pam Furr.
"We get enough of each other already. We just fight sometimes but in the end it all works out," added South Carolinian Sarah Williams.
So how do you cut down on the fighting and stress?
Jeri Kadison is a stress management expert who teaches her clients techniques to stay relaxed.
"Just a couple of exhales, taking your stress, gathering it and releasing it," she told CBS 2. "Another technique that I teach is a smile. It has been shown that smiling lowers blood pressure. It has been proven!"
It also sets the tone for a positive Thanksgiving experience. If you have a partner, unite as a team and strategize how you plan to deal with the crazy things that set you off about certain relatives.
"Some of my couples have even said that at times they tap each other under the table, they count how many times one of those annoying traits comes out, and again they lighten up," said Kadison.
Other ways to keep the tension down, said Kadison, is to identify and write down what stresses you out before the family gathering, and then avoid those topics and situations. Commit to taking off the boxing gloves by not engaging in the usual tug of war. The hotter the situation the cooler you need to be. Drink ice water and run cold water on your wrists, when it gets bad.
And take lots of breaks.
"Excuse yourself. Going to the bathroom, taking a walk, texting one of your friends, having a support buddy because they're probably having the same problems you are," she said.
Experts say the one thing you don't want to do is overindulge in alcohol. You may end up saying something the whole family will regret well past the holidays.
Have you ever had a holiday horror story happen during a family dinner? Post your experience here!
(© 2010 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. The Associated Press contributed to this report.)
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