Sep 27, 2007 5:00 pm US/Eastern
Family First: Abuse Is Not Love
Reporting
Cindy Hsu
NEW YORK (CBS) ―
The cycle of abuse and violence can start very young when teenagers are dating. So how can parents protect and educate their kids?
Jane Randel is Vice President of Corporate Communications for Liz Claiborne, Inc., which is focused on teaching teens and their parents how to recognize and prevent dating violence.
She sat down for an interview with CBS 2's Cindy Hsu.
Q: How prevalent is teen dating violence?
A: Teen dating violence is under-reported and often overlooked in ourcountry. Research we commissioned from Teenage Research Unlimitedbetween 2005 and 2007 has shown that:
-- 57 percent of American teens know friends who have experienced physical, sexual or verbal abuse in dating relationships.
-- 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner.
-- 13 percent of teenage girls who said they have been in a relationship report being physically hurt or hit.
-- Only 33 percent of teens who have been in or know about an abusiverelationship said they have told anyone about it.
Worst of all, adults are not aware. In fact 75 percent of parents whose teens had been physically hurt in a relationship never knew.</em>
Q: What are the signs?
A: Someone who thinks they may be in an abusive relationship should ask themselves the following questions:
Does your boyfriend/girlfriend:
Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Act jealous or possessive?
Put you down or criticize you?
Try to control where you go, what you wear or what you do?
Text or IM you excessively?
Blame you for the hurtful things they say and do?
Threaten to kill or hurt you or themselves if you leave them?
Try to stop you from seeing or talking to friends and family?
Try to force you to have sex before you're ready?
Do they hit, slap, push or kick you?
For parents, it's not always easy to recognize if a teen is in a violent relationship. Here are some other signs to look for:
-- Your child apologizes or makes excuses for his/her boyfriend/girlfriend's behavior
-- Your child loses interest in activities that he/she used to enjoy.
-- Your child stops seeing friends and family members and becomes more and more isolated.
-- When your teen and boyfriend/girlfriend are together, he/she calls your child names or puts him/her down in front of other people.
-- The boyfriend/girlfriend acts extremely jealous of others who pay attention to him/her, especially others of the opposite sex.
-- The boyfriend/girlfriend thinks or tells your child that you (parents) do not like him/her.
-- Your teen's behavior is controlled by his/her boyfriend/girlfriend -- checking up on, constantly calling or paging and generally demanding to know who he/she has been with.
-- Your teen casually mentions their boyfriend/girlfriend's violent behavior, but laughs it off as a joke.
-- You see your teen's partner violently lose his/her temper, striking or breaking objects.
-- Your teen often has unexplained injuries, or the explanations he/she offers don't make sense.
Q: Tell me about the Teen Dating Bill of Rights.
A: The "Love is Respect" digital "Teen Dating Bill of Rights" aims to get teens directly involved in combating teen dating abuse and increasing awareness among families that resources for help exist. The digital Teen Dating Bill of Rights will be posted on loveisrespect.org, The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline website. The first-ever online campaign to raise awareness about teen dating abuse will introduce the digital Teen Dating Bill of Rights and announce two calls to action:
Sign the Digital Teen Dating Bill of Rights
-- Teens will be linked to a special form where they can virtually sign the bill of rights and encourage their friends to do the same.
Make Your Own Statement
-- Teens will be invited to upload their own video statements about teen dating and sign up for the digital Teen Dating Bill of Rights Contest.
Again, all of this information, plus any general information on the issue of teen dating abuse can be found at www.loveisrespect.org
Q: Please explain what's in the Love Is Not Abuse curriculum, and how it should be used.
A: The Love Is Not Abuse Curriculum is a step-by step guide to teachinghigh school students about the issue of dating violence. Using literature and poetry, this program provides teachers with the tools to teach about this sensitive subject and is intended to be taught in either Health or English/Language Arts classes.
Our goals are to distribute this curriculum across all U.S. states and territories and educate as many teenagers on this issue as possible. schools on a national basis. With the help of the Family, Career and Community Leaders of America, Inc. (FCCLA), a nonprofit national career and technical student organization for young men and women in family and consumer sciences education in public and private school through grade 12, and other partners, nearly 1,000 schools across 48 states and the District of Columbia have taught the curriculum through February 2007.
It is available free-of-charge via www.loveisnotabuse.com -- and we provide some collateral materials like posters, wallet cards and a DVD with real teens telling their stories.
Q: Final thoughts?
A: We need to educate more teens, more schools and more parents about this issue so that we can help those who need it and prevent others from being in these relationships at all. Our ultimate goal at Liz Claiborne is to create a society intolerant of abuse -- and reaching out to teens now, when they are starting to make relationship decisions -- will go a long way towards making this a reality.</em>
E-mail comments to Cindy Hsu
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