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TRENTON, N.J. (CBS/AP) ― Dina Matos McGreevey -- the estranged wife of the nation's first openly gay governor -- claimed extreme cruelty throughout their marriage in a Monday court filing, which demanded divorce as well as monetary damages for fraud, emotional distress and libel.

Monday was the deadline for Matos McGreevey to respond to James E. McGreevey's divorce filing, in which the former governor claimed his wife "knew of my sexual orientation before our marriage" and "chose to either ignore it or block it out of her mind, even when questioned by her friends."

"Plaintiff has been guilty of extreme cruelty toward defendant, commencing from the date of their marriage and continuing from that day until the present," Matos McGreevey's attorneys said in Monday's filing in state Superior Court in Union County.

Matos McGreevey's lawyers said learning that her husband was gay and cheating on her "had an immeasurable lasting impact." He resigned as governor of New Jersey in 2004 after acknowledging that he was "a gay American" and saying he had an affair with a male aide.

"Defendant was shocked and traumatized beyond description and she felt betrayed and abandoned by plaintiff," the filing said.

The filing contends that in the months following James McGreevey's 2004 resignation announcement Matos McGreevey learned from her husband that he married her to conceal his sexual orientation so he could advance his political career.

During those months, James McGreevey was "completely insensitive" to his wife's stress and trauma, according to the court filing.

"His primary concern was his legacy as governor," the filing said.

Besides suing over fraud and intentional emotional distress, Matos McGreevey also claimed libel, arguing that her husband and his representatives last month made public claims that she was homophobic and had made anti-gay statements -- charges she says her husband knew weren't true.

The disputes inside the marriage have gone public in recent weeks amid the divorce case and Matos McGreevey's publicizing of her new book, "Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage."

"I don't think he's still acknowledged the damage that he'sdone to me and to my family and that's very difficult to accept," Matos McGreevey said during a "Good Morning America" appearance last week.

Matos McGreevey told "Oprah" viewers that she was smiling while her husband made his 2004 announcement because "I didn't want to break down."

James McGreevey on Monday referred questions about particular accusations in the filing to his divorce attorney, Hackensack lawyer Matthew D. Piermatti. But the former governor did say that he hoped the legal dispute would be over soon.

"Our most important duty is to work to be good parents for Jacqueline," McGreevey said, referring to the couple's 5-year-old daughter.

Piermatti declined to "argue our case in the press," but said a court filing in coming weeks would answer the accusations.

Meanwhile, James McGreevey has been planning to join in a civil union with Mark O'Donnell, an Australian money manager with whom he resides. The vicar at St. Bartholomew's Church in Manhattan said last week that McGreevey has become an Episcopalian and is considering becoming a priest in that faith.

Judge Karen Cassidy has ruled that the McGreeveys for now will continue to share custody of their daughter, with Matos McGreevey the primary parent. McGreevey is allowed visitation every other weekend and alternate Wednesdays.

(© 2007 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. The Associated Press contributed to this report.)